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The Unknown Poster
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comment_625168

With Teletoon rebranding into Cartoon Network in less than 12 hours I thought I would write a Eulogy for the network

Dear Teletoon,
 
I can’t believe it’s come to this; I can’t believe you are now Cartoon Network full time, but what’s the point? You were different from Cartoon Network once upon a time, you had good Canadian content (now where will the reboots for Totally Spies! And the Triplets air? okay those were dubs but they count) where else could you find a big blue newt that was a Robin Williams like comedian? Where else could you meet a Witch that punishes some triplet girls by sending them into stories (but how is that a punishment?) Where else could I have met a group of meddling kids and their dog? Where else could I have seen a group of racers with unique cars and one of the few recurring Hanna Barbera villains? Where else could you look forward to Christmas when you aired a series about Santa Claus and meet some Aliens Next Door (as well as other specials that aired during the holidays, including the last thing released that had Phil Hartman’s voice), Where else could we meet an over obedient dog (who would make Lassie, the Littlest Hobo and Rex say “hey chill out man”) and his family of neurotics and eccentrics and denialists? Where else would we meet a trio of baby orphans that got their powers due to strange Y2K related reasons (regardless of how disgusting it was) along with their tech savvy guardian? Where else could we have seen so many shorts made in Canada, some exported from New Zealand, and the best group of singing animals ever (most of which were voiced by cast members from Arthur, the jungle show is quite obscure I’m so glad I found it), Where else could I see a group of first responders (based on a toy line) get some major character development and give us safety tips at the end of every episode? Where else could we meet a classroom full of kids who will probably need some serious therapy when they are adults (that is how I see the Kids from Room 402), Where else could we have new adventures with a Strong Girl wearing pigtails and a bear from Peru living in Britain? Where else could I see a bunch of Mice and Moles and Hedgehogs and a Hare and a Badger defend their home from a bunch of rats, and slavers and Magpies (not to mention Martin the Warrior’s origin story) Where else could we have seen a show that did behind the scenes stuff for animated shows and movies (yeah I remember SPLAT! too), Where else could we hang out in the coolest fictional mall in Canada? Where else could a competitive animated reality show be pulled off? and how else could we see the life of a tantrum prone child who slowly got better but didn’t change people's minds (yep, Teletoon was the first network in North America to air Caillou) most of these shows live on Youtube now (though even I do once in awhile notice a show or two on other tv networks heck recently I caught Maggie and the Ferocious Beast on Nick Canada), but you, I met them through you, I entered so many contests (though I did win a watch once) that by the time I was 12 I felt it was no longer worth it. And yet all this time, you were there for me. You were there for me when I was sick Labour day weekend in 1998, You were always there in the morning while I was waiting for the school bus to arrive, You were there when I got my first computer, You were there for me when I had the worst teacher ever for 5th grade (and just to keep the references going, it could be worse, I could have gotten Mrs. Brinks who in this day and age wouldn’t be allowed to teach at all because of favoritism actions), you were there when I had no idea what Y2K was (and it’s probably for the best that I wasn’t aware of how serious it could have been then), You were there for me when my parents took my computer games away, You were there for me when I “Blossomed” whether I wanted to or not, You were there for me when I learned what the Holocaust was, You were there for me when I made that tough transition from 6th grade to a 7-12 school that didn’t have a good reputation and yet somehow I got out of there alive, You were there when I chose the Beatles over the Backstreet Boys...and mourned one of the former, You were there for me when I witnessed one of the saddest cartoon endings ever (referencing Martin the Warrior again but I could have easily brought up Kids Next Door),You were there when my parents got our first DVR, You were there for me when I graduated high school and turned 18, You always had a movie ready to watch on the first Saturday of every month (before going weekly), I watched so much adult stuff at night behind my parents back (I just wish you were still airing Duckman by that point, I actually randomly remembered The Maxx recently and considering the content (they actually mentioned Rape) I’m shocked at myself for watching that show). I watched the Simpsons on the network more than anywhere else back in the day. And you launched a spin-off channel for retro shows, I was happy when it suddenly showed up that December evening, but not so happy that I lost Teletoon’s west coast feed (I was able to watch Total Drama early that way back when I was invested in it) but I happily watched Rocky and Bullwinkle in its entirety, and revisited Josie and the Pussycats after it disappeared after year 2, I finally got to see the Teen Angels in action and was so happy when they picked up Laff-a-lympics during Vancouver 2010 (even though it no longer held up for me a decade later), and even better you brought back Ned’s Newt and For Better or For Worse back on tv screens. And now eight years after losing Teletoon Retro, you’re going away now too, but I don’t know what I hate more, that you evolved, or that I had to grow up, even though I had new default tv networks I still found my way back to you. You were way different from Cartoon Network, you were your own identity and that’s what was so special about you, you were dare I say....Unreal.
 
P.S. I'm still not happy that you dropped A Pup Named Scooby Doo before you could air the entire series…or the Simpsons

 

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    comment_625571

    it's not the CBS series it's the OG series

    https://deadline.com/2023/03/bbc-comedy-ghosts-to-end-after-five-seasons-cbs-remake-1235314390/

     

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